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Action vs Waiting, Practice vs Talent »

I Hate Being Sick

I somehow came down with something yesterday. I woke up, my throat was sore, I got to work, spent the entire day feeling slightly warm, then got really warm and felt terrible on the train ride home.

I ate some dinner, drank some water, and went to bed. So much for Development Night.

Of course, I was so sick that I couldn’t just fall asleep. I needed to sleep, but I guess my breathing was weird. My heart was beating pretty fast for being stationary. Eventually I did fall asleep, but now I’m wide awake, it’s 10:45PM, and while I’m feeling a bit better, I feel like crap for not being able to sleep AGAIN.

Oddly enough, while I was waiting to go to sleep, shivering in bed because I was so warm and my room is above a garage, I kept having delusions about how my game business was going to work. I imagined what it would be like to have a FAQ that talks about my company. I imagined that GBGames was a lousy name and that I was working on a new one. I imagined talking about how much more trust my business model put in the customer compared to say Sony or Valve: “No DRM here!” I imagined talking to other developers, and I was actually a role model for a number of them. I was a serious competitor to a lot of businesses as well.

I had a number of other images, and I am upset because I would have loved to write all of them down, but every time I became conscious of them, I would immediately forget. It was like I was dreaming, realized it, woke up because I had to breathe (stupid stuffy nose), and forget the important points.

I hate being sick, but I really got excited thinking about the near future. I smiled despite the crappy way I felt. I actually dreamed about the success I was going to have.

Now to make an action plan to make it into a reality.

I’m writing this still feeling a bit sick, so hopefully it isn’t too rambly. I’m just awake enough that I can’t lie in bed anymore, sick enough that I can’t do too much, and my back still hurts enough that I can’t sit up and read a book.

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Posted by GBGames on Tuesday, November 29th, 2005 at 11:55 pm.

6 Responses to “I Hate Being Sick”

Those are inspiring visions.

Keep imagining them and you’ll be on your way. Make a plan once you get better…post it on this blog for feedback :)

Left by Action on November 30th, 2005

Thanks! Will do!

Left by GBGames on November 30th, 2005

Yeah I think alot about my future when I am trying to sleep or have just woken up. Normally though it is anxiety inducing things like “will I ever get this game finished before the shareware market crashes” .. heh.

That is normally while going to sleep.

On waking I sometimes (quite often lately) have very inspiring thoughts, or even game concepts which “come out of the blue” and I can visualise them and run them through a simulation in my head. I write every idea down in a book in case I can use some element of them in a future game.

So I have both the worries/doubts and the excitment of the possibilities. Normally when I am too tired to really work, but can not sleep I get frustrated because I can see a “clear roadmap” of what needs doing but just don’t have the energy. Just the other night I finally (and firmly) set my mind on my development roadmap between now and september next year. I know what I need to do, I am sure what I am doing is worthwhile and “somewhat innovative” while not being overly complex that I will never finish it.

As for near future excitment.. I plan all of next year to be my “near future” and yes I am sure it will be enjoyable just putting everything I plan into practice.. I just hope I have the energy and can keep procrastination to a minimum.

Sorry to hear you are sick at the moment, Hope you get better soon! :)

Left by Sharpfish on November 30th, 2005

Thanks! I hope I do too!

I’m taking today off work, which stinks because I already missed most of last week due to my strained lumbar. Hopefully I can get some good reading done and flesh out a few of my plans.

Left by GBGames on November 30th, 2005

I share your misery.

Fortunately, I came down with my cold Sunday night, so it didn’t interfere with Thanksgiving. I wish I could have been a wee bit more productive over the two days I took off of work, but I felt miserable and rested a bit. I did get some stuff done, though.

And acting on those little dreams or visions - man, that’s a third of the battle. Once you envision it and can SEE / TASTE it — then it’s a matter of putting together a plan and executing. I think I’m still suffering a little bit from a faded vision on my own — I’m having a tough time deciding, “Where is my company going to be a year from now? Three years from now?” It’s tough when you have to balance the long-term goals with short-term requirements and choose the better of two desireable goals in the first place.

Anyway, good luck! Hope you are feeling better now!

Left by Jay Barnson on November 30th, 2005

I’m actually feeling well enough to work a bit on my 1 year business plan, or at least work on it for a bit. It’s amazing the number of details that haven’t entered my mind, but it is kind of cool thinking about them. It’s like rolling out a blanket, squishing down all of the wrinkles as I find them. It can be tough, especially when I feel like I don’t know what I am doing, but I’m learning more by writing down some part of the plan. I’ll find out soon enough if I am wrong, and I’ll update the business plan then.

Left by GBGames on November 30th, 2005

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